You are a Democrat if?

You complain about the economy, but drive a foreign car.

You put a "No war for oil" bumper sticker on your gas guzzling SUV.

You think the President, not the Congress and Senate, should fix the economy.

You think that 40 years of failed socialist programs and policies are really progressive.

To you, 9/11 and the War on Terror are yesterday's issues and think we should get down to the real important ones like gay marriages and how do we bleed the working middle class even more to enhance the lives of the lazy and to send the retired on vacation.

Like most people you want your family to have good jobs, but you complain when those jobs you do not want, go to foreign countries.

You think you can find national security through appeasement.

You fail to realize that in order to pay for cheap prescriptions for the elderly, you need to raise the tax burden on those already paying for their own health care for themselves and their families.

You think raising the taxes is always justified and is the answer to all of society's ills. You also feel the rich have too much money and can afford to pay more taxes.

You feel that every need or want should be fulfilled by a federal government program.

You blame Bush for the loss of jobs in America, yet you have forgotten the 9/11 attack which left the airlines, insurance companies and the stock market in turmoil, all of which are, of course, Bush's fault.

You think Clinton was a good President, though he couldn't keep his zipper zipped and utterly failed to prepare the military and intelligence communities for the war against terrorism of which he had plenty of warning, (1993 WTC bombing, Somalia, the USS Cole and the African Embassies). Of course you think all of that is Bush's fault.

You think a communist, anti-American traitor called John Kerry is an adequate replacement for the Abraham Lincoln of our time.